Circumcision is not allowed in Islam

He created everything in exact measure; He precisely designed everything

(25:2)

He designed you, and designed you well.

(40:64)

He created the heavens and the earth for a specific purpose, designed you and perfected your design.

(64:3)

He created man in the best design.

(95:4)

[Satan said:] " I will mislead them, I will entice them, I will command them to mark the ears of livestock, and I will command them to distort the creation of GOD."

(4:119)

We did not leave anything out of this book.

(6:38)

The word of your lord is complete, in truth and justice. Nothing shall abrogate His words. He is the Hearer, the Omniscient.

(6:115)

Say, "Did you note how GOD sends down to you all kinds of provisions, then you render some of them unlawful, and some lawful? Say, Did God give you permission to do this? Or, do you fabricate lies and attribute them to God?"

(10:59

Al Hajj : How Muslims distorted Al Hajj (The Pilgrimage)

Al Hajj : How Muslims distorted Al Hajj (The Pilgrimage)

By Ahmed Mansour

To know the wide gap between Islam and Muslims of today, read this article about Al Hajj. It has been published in Cairo, and the writer was insulted because of it.

The Salafi Hajj
Salafi Muslims across their long history have changed the real Islamic Hajj to be in this way that expresses their own Hajj, not the real Islamic Hajj as stated in Quran and applied by the prophet Mohammed during his life time. Let’s explain this:-
Al Hajj is religious duty on every human being, not only Muslims.
Al Hajj is a religious duty that has to be performed by any peaceful human being who is capable of performing it. It is not restricted to Muslims only but includes all peaceful human beings, especially the people of the scripture; the Jews and the Christians. Al Hajj is the most famous aspect of Abraham’s religion or according to the Quranic terminology [Millat Ebraheem] for all the mankind, the Jews and the Christians in particular. This is very obvious when we read these Quranic verses: [2: 125] [3: 93 to 97] [22: 25 to 29].
However, the mighty tribe of Quraysh used to del with Al Hajj according to their tribal policy and interests. They prevented Muslims and the prophet Mohammed from performing Al Hajj, [5: 2] [48:25] [8:34-36] [22: 25]. After the time of prophet Mohammed, the same tribe used the name of Islam to establish the great Arab Muslim Empire. In this Empire, the religious rules were decreed to prevent the non Muslims from Al Hajj, ignoring that the term (Muslim) in the Quranic terminology- when dealing with people- means any peaceful person regardless of his/her faith or affinity, and [Al Moshrik] or the idol worshipper- when dealing with people- is the one who transgresses the boundary and attacks the peaceful people in aggressive and/or unjustly manner. Please read this meaning in these Quranic verses [9: 1 to 14-28]
Muslims have violated this generality and definition of Al Hajj
It is prohibited- in Muslim tradition- for any Christian or Jews to perform Al Hajj if they so wish. More over, they claim in their false Hadiths that the prophet Mohammed ordered to clear the Arab Peninsula from all Christians and Jews. This is a false allegation because the Arab Christian and Jewish tribes used to live in their Arab land during the Omayad dynasty, before this Hadith has been fabricated and which was attributed to the prophet Mohammed two centuries after the Prophet’s death; i.e. at the time of the Omayad state.
Al Hajj (Pilgrimage) may be performed any time during the four sacred moths, not on one week only
Muslims come to Al Hajj to perform it in specific short period of few days before the tenth day of the Arabic month named” Dul Hijjah” (the last month of the Arabic lunar calendar). In this short period of time- known in the Quranic terminology as “Al Hajj Al Akbar”- millions of pilgrims are jammed, crammed and squeezed in one place to practice the same rituals in the same time in chaos and jumbling that causes death for hundreds every year.
It is reasonable to say that they should perform Al Hajj any time during the months in which every one can take the chance to perform Al Hajj in one week and return home to avoid this chaos and trouble. This is reasonable from Islamic perspective because God said:” God intends for you the ease, and He does not want to make things difficult for you:” [2:185]. As a Quranic fact: Islamic laws aim at easing the hardships clearing the difficulties out: [4: 28] [5:3-6] [73: 20] [22: 78] [24: 61] [48:17]
It is not only reasonable, but it is the very Quranic rules that confirm theses verses. According to the Quran, the time designed for al Hajj is four months in which you can make Al Hajj any time during them. God says in the Quran: “Al Hajj is the well known months [Al Hajjo Ash-huron Ma’loumat]. So, those who intend to perform Al Hajj therein, should refrain from intimate marital sexual intercourse, nor commit sins, nor get involved in disputes (or foul arguments) during Al Hajj.”[2: 197].
These are the four Arabic lunar months which are the sacred months in Islam named [Al Ash-hur Al hurom]. In these four months, it is prohibited to wage war, to fight, or to commit any wrongful parctice. Before the time of Islam, Arabs used to recognize these sacred months as an important aspect of the religion of Abraham, so God described these months as [Ash-huron Ma’loumat] i.e. they used to be well known months by Arabs. But they used to violate them by changing them according to their own ongoing interests and continuous fights. Therefore, God blamed them in the Quran. [9: 36 and 37]
[Al Hajj Al Akbar (the Great Pilgrmage)] is only the opening of the religious duty of Al Hajj in the first nine days of these four months which are: [Dull Hijja- Moharram, Safar and Rabeea Al Awwal] but you can perform Al Hajj any time, after this festival of opening to the end of the last fourth month known as [Rabee’a Al Awwal] Fourth the first.
To make it easier for pilgrims who come from distant places [22: 27] God gives them two days exception before the opening, means the last two days of the Arabic month of [Dull K’idah]. Also God gives them another two days exception after the end of the sacred months, i.e. after the fourth month of [Rabe’e Al Awwal] or Rabe’e the first, so they can perform Al Hajj after its designated time during the fifth Arabic month, or the next month after the fourth sacred month known as [Rabe’e Al Awwal]. So the fifth month has the same name of Rabe’e’ but with an addition [Rabe’e Al Thani] means Fourth the second. Pilrgrims who comes early can perform Al Hajj two days earlier i.e. before the beginning of its regular time on the beginning of the four sacred months. Those who comes late can perform Al Hajj two day after the last fourth sacred month, but on one condition: to maintain [Al Taqwa] or to be righteous (maintain piety).[2: 203]
Finally, the Quranic terminology [Al Hajj al Akbar (or the Great Pilgrimage)] means only the opening of Al Hajj, but you can perform Al Hajj during all the four sacred months and even two days before and two days after these four months.
Al Hajj Al Akbar was the real opening of the Arabic lunar calendar which used to be the month of “Dul Hijjah”, means the month of the opening of Al Hajj. It used to be the first month of the Muslim Arabic calendar, then the other three sacred months that follow it.[ They are Muharram, Safar, Rabee’ Awwal].You can understand this if you read carefully these verses:[9: 1-2-3-5].
Muslims have ignored the sacred months and changed them
In their history after the Prophet Mohammed, Arab Muslims have ignored the sacred months and used to fight each other and the other nations during the sacred months. Only during the civil war between Ali; the fourth ruler after the Prophet Mohammed, and Mo’aweyah, there was cease fire to respect the sacred months, but after that, the Omayyad dynasty used to fight its Muslim opponents and invade other countries in the name of Islam, during the sacred months and other months too. They had even violated the holy place of the Sacred Mosque in Mecca and destroyed Al Ka’abah, when they attacked it twice, during the reign of Yazeed, son of Moaweyah, and Marawan son of Al Hakam.
All of these violations happened just five decades after the death of the Prophet Mohammed, and committed by people most of them were [Sahabat Al Nabi] or the companions of the prophet Mohammed. It has become easier for the coming Muslim generations to follow suit because the civil wars and the military insurrections have continued until now inside the Muslim World and between Muslims and other nations and countries. In these continuous wars Muslims have forgotten every thing about the sacred months, even their real names and changed the Arabic lunar calendar to begin with the month of Mharram instead of Dul Hijjah, and, contrary to this, they shifted the four sacred months to the following months : Rajab, Dul Hijah Muharram and Safar instead of: Dull Hijjah, Muharram, Safar and Rabe’e Al Awwal.
Why do Muslims perform Al Hajj (pilgrimage) in one week only?
It is the same reason; the continuous war between them.
The Arabic tribes in the desert around Mecca used to attack and plunder the caravans carrying pilgrims in their way from Egypt, Syria, Iraq and Yemen. Sometimes these tribes, when they became [Khawarej] or religious rebellions, used the name of Islam in attacking and killing the peaceful [Hujjaj] or pilgrims.
It was necessary to protect the pilgrimage caravans by an army led by generals named the leaders of Al Hajj or the princes of Al Hajj or [Ameer al Hajj]. It was necessary also to gather all the pilgrims of every country in one caravan, and to unite the season of Al Hajj in one week to protect the lives of the pilgrims.
Some Muslim Emperors in the Omayyad and Abbasy dynasties used to perform Al Hajj in that specific time as and opportunity to address peoples from different regions and to meet the governors of their states and provinces.
Despite all those different armies, the wild Arabic nomads used to attack the pilgrimage caravans, especially in the time of weakness of power in the central capitals of Baghdad, or Cairo. This added a new ritual in Al Hajj; to shorten the five daily prayers as the journey of Al Hajj is full of dangers. However, this tradition of shortening the season of Al Hajj from four months to only one week is the final reaction to those circumstances. This made Muslims of our time not to realize the clear meaning of the Quranic verse {Al Hajjo Ashhorn Ma’lomat} or:” The pilgrimage is the well known months.” While Arabs at the time of the Quran revelation knew the sacred months, Muslims in our time do not know what exactly the truthful sacred months are.
The real meaning of Al Hajj
God has appointed his only one sacred place exactly in the mid point of this earth, or the very center of the earth. In this place, the first religious house for mankind to worship the One God was built to be the first one on this earth, [3: 96]. It is “Al Bayt Al Ateeq.” means the oldest and the most ancient house of worship on earth. [22: 29-33].
After the prophet Noah and many other prophets and generations God ordered Abraham-who lived in Iraq- to go to the place of the sacred mosque in the desert - known later as the desert of Arabia- and showed its location to him, and ordered him to have it rebuilt and purified for the worshippers and to call the people of all mankind to come and perform Al Hajj. [2: 125 to 130][22: 26 to 29]
On the center of this place “Al K’abah” shrine or the four walls were built to indicate the center of this earth. Around this squared small building, there was a large place for worshipping the only one God in His House. Mecca is the city that has been built around the holy mosque.
Mecca is called in the Quran [Omm Al Kora]. [Omm] means mother [Al Kora] in the Arabic language means villages, but in the Quranic terminology means the main city of any human community, so Mecca is “Mother of all the main cities of all the human communities.” to indicate that the holy sacred mosque is on the very center of this earth.
From this center of the earth the final prophet was born and the final Divine message; the holy Quran was revealed for all the mankind from this time to the end of this world. [25: 1][21:107] [42: 7] [28:59] [6: 92]. To the direction of this point all Muslims should turn their faces in their five daily prayers, [2:144-149-150] and they come to it from all over the world to perform Al Hajj.
This is the only holy place of God in this earth, while the Holy time of God is the Sacred four months, in which people should live peacefully without war or unjust doings and perform Al Hajj.
Inside the Human being, there is the high identity which chooses the good or the bad deed, the right or the wrong. The good believer is the one who chooses to sanctify, adore, glorify and venerate the holy place of the One God and also His four sacred months.
For those good believers, Al Hajj is the chance through which they can worship God in His sacred mosque, during His four sacred months. In this case his/her pure, chaste and righteous heart is in harmony with the holy place and the holy time. Therefore, the believer, while performing Al Hajj, must abandon the permissible sexual intercourse with his wife, the permissible dispute and argument with other people, any kind of sins, and to fear God who knows every thing, and maintain righteousness for the Day of Judgment. [2: 197].
God also said about the sacred mosque:” Which we have appointed to all people as equally; the dweller in it and the visitor, and whoever intend to do evil action and unjust, we shall cause him to taste from painful torment.” [22:25], so the bad intention is forbidden during Al Hajj to keep the heart clean and pure.
In the sacred mosque of God, all the creatures of God should enjoy peace, the pilgrim is prevented from killing any alive creature, even the ant in his hair, so, the pilgrim usually shave or cut short his hair before Al Ihram, or performing Al Hajj ritual. If he/she intentionally kills a game during Al Hajj, the penalty is an offering; brought to the sacred mosque of an eatable animal equivalent to the game he/she killed [5: 95].
It is up to the pilgrim to decide to pay or not because it is the pilgrim who knows if he/she was intentionally doing it or nots. It is a test to teach Muslims during Al Hajj how to purify their hearts. God says in this regard: “O you who believe! God will make a trial of you with something in the game that is within the reach of your hands and your lances, that God may test him who fears Him unseen. Then whoever transgresses thereafter, for him there is a painful torment.”[5 94]
It confirms here that the human heart must be pure to be in harmony with the sacred place and the sacred time. This is the meaning of “Al Ihram”, or the period in which the pilgrim is performing the ritual of Al Hajj.
Submission is the key word.
In this harmony that brings the place, the time and the human heart or soul together, the believer chooses willingly to submit his/her heart, body and feeling to their only One God. God said:” To Him submitted all creatures in the heavens and in the earth, willingly and unwillingly.”[3: 83].
As it is very difficult to maintain this submission all the days and years, the Islamic rituals are reminders. The five prayers remind us every day five times. Fasting during the month of Ramadan reminds us for one month every year, the four sacred months remind us for four months every year, and then Al Hajj reminds us one time-or more during our life time. All these rituals have only one aim; to enable the believer to be righteous and to enable him/her to maintain the most difficult thing in their life; the total and absolute submission to the only One God.
The human being is the only creature in this physical universe that has the freedom of choice, while the entire universe and the other creatures are controlled directly by God, or totally submitted to God by their imbedded nature, having no choice. The human physical body is controlled by God, not by the human being who occupies it. You could not control your liver, kidney and lungs while you can-according to your freedom of choice- obey or disobey God, submit yourself to Him or rebel against Him.
Total submission of universe and the pilgrims
Al Hajj gives the human being the chance to perform the same total submission to the One God. To know the total submission to the Almighty creator, think about the atom and its structure, and the sun and its planets, and the stars inside their galaxies. They have the same system in the total submission to the One God.
The electrons circle around the nucleus inside the atom in a series of orbits at different distances from the nucleus. In much the same way the planets orbit the sun, and the stars circle around the center of their galaxies.
You can look the same way at Al Hajj, where the believers come from different places to the very center of the earth; the sacred mosque of the One Only God, to perform rituals of Al Hajj, means Al Ihram, in the way that their heart must be pure and in a full submission to their only Lord, circling around the Al Ka’abah; the nucleus of the earth, as the electrons circle around the nucleus of the atom, and as the planets circle around the stars and as the stars circle around the center of the galaxy.
If the electrons are neutral the pilgrims are also neutral, if the electrons have a negative charge, the pilgrims are forbidden from the permissible sexual actions and the permissible arguments; i.e. having only negative charge. It is the same submission to the creator, but with one difference, the believer is doing this willingly according to his/her own freedom of choice.
If you look at the picture of pilgrims in their circles around Al Ka’aba where all share the same color and the same special cloth of Al Ihram, so identical the one to another that you cannot identify single any one out of them, you are really looking inside the atom where the electrons are moving ins circles around the nucleus while they are identical one to another to the extent that scientists are unable to distinguish one electron from another. This picture illustrates the meaning of the submission to the One God. Islam in the Arabic language and the Quranic terminology- in dealing with God- mean total submission. This is also the meaning of Al Hajj in the religion of Islam.
However, Muslims have distorted this meaning of Al Hajj as the same way they also distorted the two meanings of Islam.
Muslims distort the meaning of Al Hajj
It is a long story, but it could be outlined in these topics:

1- Al Ka’abah is just a square building, built and rebuilt many times by humans using the same stone of the same area, just to indicate to the center of this planet; the earth. While circling around al Ka’aba it is forbidden to touch it to avoid any meaning of idolizing its building or its stones. Islam is very sensitive in this issue of monotheism. It is absolutely forbidden to idolize any human; any stone any tomb and any temple or statue. Al Ka’aba is called “Al Bayt al Haram” means literally: “the inviolable house”. This necessitates some specific rituals that aim at teaching the believer to maintain the high degree of monotheism in worshipping the only One God, not to worship the human made building of Al Ka’aba making it an idol of stone. In the same wrong way Muslims look at the black stone which identifies the beginning of the seven circles or circumambulations.

2- In Islam, there is only One God, and only One Sacred mosque of the Only One God, but Muslims have many sacred mosques, where they usually visit as a ritual pilgrimage. In every Muslim country, there are many sacred tombs inside mosques, those tombs belong to famous Sufi or Shiites or Sunni saints, Imams and Sheikhs. However, the most sacred mosque among these building is the mosque of Al Madina. Muslims usually visit it as a necessary ritual that complements Al Hajj, claiming that the prophet Mohammed is still alive inside his tomb in this mosque, and whoever performs Al Hajj to him he/she will have the so-called intercession of the Prophet Mohammed on the Day of Judgment. This distorts their Hajj and their Islamic faith as well.

3- They add a fabricated ritual; stoning the symbol of Satan inside the holy mosque. This ritual belongs to the ancient fabrication of “stoning Esaf and Na’elah” in Al Hajj before the time Islam and before revelation of the holy Quran. Because of this ritual known as {Ramy Al Jamarat} hundreds of Muslims usually get killed after finishing the real rituals of Al Hajj. This satanic ritual has been made to make Muslim remember Satan and celebrate this memory in the very sacred mosque of the One Almighty God. According to Quran, the only way to deal with Satan is to seek refuge with the Almighty God from Satan by your heart and your tongue, not to designate a place for Satan inside the sacred mosque of Allah.

4- The Muslim Imams and famous scholars had many wrong verdicts and laws concerning Al Hajj. For example, they said the woman in her period or menstruation is prohibited from circumambulation around Al Ka’abah. They also said it is permissible to any Muslim to hire any one to perform Al Hajj instead of him or her, or for his parents or any one else. It is wrong because all the rituals in Islam aim at purifying the individual, so they have to perform these rituals by themselves to clean one’s heart by one’s own effort for their own future in the Day of Judgment. The pilgrim should witness by himself/herself and perform all the rituals of Al Hajj by themselves. [22: 28].

The curse of Arranged Marriages

The curse of Arranged Marriages
Introduction
Arranged marriage: a marriage partner selection process in which the future bride and groom usually do not participate actively in the decision. Marriages are commonly arranged by parents or their agents when the marriages are seen as principally uniting two families rather than just husband and wife. There is also often the rationalization that teenagers and young adults are too inexperienced to make a wise mate selection. The tradition of arranged marriages has been dramatically undermined whenever romantic love becomes a popular notion in a society.
The most primal needs of any being on this earth, may it be Human or an animal are the hunt for food then comes the need for shelter and once these two basic needs have been met, both human and animals look for a mate to propagate their species.
Humans, being intelligent and with the ability to rationalize the need to reproduce carries an even greater significance.
Through out human history, the female has been given the responsibility of choosing the best mate for herself in what scientists call natural selection.
Once this system of Natural Selection is eliminated or restricted in any society, that society will stagnate and eliminate the chance of the society to progress in any direction.
An arranged marriage can be wrapped in any shape or form but one fact is for sure, it is a Forced arrangement, which effects the deep down fabric of society.
The Animal Kingdom
Opposition to this section
I am fully aware that the biggest objection supporters of Forced Marriage would mention at this point would be that “HUMANS ARE NOT ANIMALS” and they will shun the rest of the article. This would only be due to the myopic views and the brainwashing of society as well a strong ego where there is a need to consider oneself superior to everything else and any similarities are to be strongly opposed.

Examples from the Animal Kingdom
A good example of this would be from the animal kingdom where the Male works to gain he attention of the female and the best male available to the female has the best chance to reproduce with that female.
The male which is either week or sick, hence the male who has some physical or genetic problem does not get a chance to mate and is eliminated from the gene pool.
Nature has instilled a very intricate and a well balanced system to provide for natural selection. Both male and female excrete a number of chemicals, most of them tuned to attract the opposite sex.
These chemicals produced are as unique to each individual as finger prints; these chemicals affect each and every living thing on the planet in a different way.
We have all experienced an immediate like or dislike of another individual on the first meeting. The released chemicals along with the visual stimulation (this can be positive or negative) are responsible for this immediate like or dislike.

Arguments for Forced Marriages
You fall in love “after” you get married
One of the biggest arguments or reasoning given for Arranged / Forced Marriages is that it is not a whole lot different then a marriage by natural selection.
The only difference which is mentioned is that the couple falls in love after you have taken the vows.
People are quick to give examples of certain exceptions where statistical coincidences have occurred and the couple was compatible to begin with. These people do not look at the bigger picture and are happy to point out these rare cases and willingly jump into a forced marriage.
This is kind of behavior is more akin to playing “Russian roulette” in the most important decision in a humans life. The person gets married and then finds out if the person they have married is compatible with them or not.
These same people will spend hours if not months to decide which car they would by but they will readily get married to someone without every having contact with this person before they make the decision.
These days, some more progressive parents have starting allowing a bit of contact which might include a few telephone conversations but not much more.
Union of Two Families
One of the biggest reasons which is given in favor of arranged marriages is that it is a Union of two families. One of the misconceptions is that in case someone has a love marriage the two families can not unite. This can ONLY happen if the Parents force their children to marry.
This reasoning holds true for any kind of marriage, especially love where the union is forged in love, understanding and friendship rather than a few minutes discussion between the parents or their agents.
In any good marriage, both families are brought together and a marriage is always a union of two families.
The people who use this argument fail to see that by highlighting this point they are showing their shallowness and myopic view that only a union of two families can occur if an arranged marriage is performed.
Getting married without the permission of parents
The closed societies where Arranged / Forced marriages are practiced the mindset has been developed that Natural Selection would be synonymous to eloping.
That is and should not be the case,
The society has evolved with such huge egoistic ideas that each and every person considers himself / herself extremely superior to anyone younger.
The society works at reducing the self-esteem of the young to the extent that they are forced to shut the creative part of their minds and just accept the role of followers.
Instead of nurturing the young mind to get ready for the life ahead by grooming the young to make good decisions the young are told just to follow like zombies and not to question anything an adult says.
Low Divorce rate
This is the most prevalent argument given for getting into a arranged marriage.
The low divorce rate in a Closed culture are NOT due to the ability of the couple to get a divorce but is more closely related to
Ø The lack of the ability to make your own choice
Ø The prevalent Stockholm syndrome[i]
Ø The stigma of getting a divorce.
Ø The negative image Divorce has in these cultures
Ø The inability of the parents to re-provide a large dowry
Ø The ever present financial burden on both the groom and the bride
In a majority of marriages, in these marriages it would be better to get a divorce than to live in a unhappy relationship where one of both partners have nothing in common with each other.
The Catch 22
In the society prevalent in most of the Islamic countries these days the people have perfected the Catch 22 to the Divorce rate. The Religion does permit Divorce but there is such a big stigma attached to getting a divorce that no one can think of getting a divorce.
The reason for a low divorce rate not due to the fact that the people are not allowed to get / give a divorce but if someone gets a divorce he / she is considered a lower class of citizen and is shunned by society.
If nothing else it is considered that there must be something very wrong with that person (especially if it is the female) and it is very difficult for that person to get married again.
Black list
Very often the stigma of a Divorcee at home will “black list “the whole family and the chances of the younger siblings getting married will be hampered if not completely eliminated. So the elder sister will sacrifice her happiness to make sure that her younger sisters do get married and will endure extreme abuse and unhappiness and put on a happy face in public while going through her private hell.
Economic Factors
Dowry: Marrying off a girl in most of these societies is a very expensive proposition. The Mother will start collecting the girls dowry for a very young age and will make sure that the future In laws are happy, more than that the matter of Ego comes in here to a very big extent, a big dowry will increase the families standing in the eyes of the relatives so, from birth the struggle to collect a dowry is on the top of a mothers mind. Jewelry, household items, clothing everything is collected and the whole family lives in deprivation because the needed items of daily use are set aside and not used.
Mehr: On the flip side, the Groom is forced to agree to a huge amount of “Mehr” or money to be paid to the bride after the marriage and becomes mandatory if the groom decides to divorce the bride. This amount large, usually to the tune of five to ten years of the grooms income. If the divorce does happen any court in the country will summarily accept Mehr as a Pre Nuptial and will order the groom to pay that off and in case the money is not available it will have to be borrowed or personally property sold to fulfill this obligation.
The family members on both sides will have lengthy and sometimes heated arguments over this issue. The brides family will make sure that this amount is as large as possible so that the groom feels hostage to the amount and is forced to treat the bride right, in other worlds the groom is forced to accept a financial burden.
Wedding celebrations: except for the Dowry and Mehr, the wedding is a lengthy and expensive proposition. The brides family is forced to endure most of the expense and in most cases the brides family does borrow a lot of money to full fill the ever present Ego of the in laws as well as to show off to the society. In case a divorce does happen, the family will have to endure this burden again.
Second marriage
The Ego issues with the men in the culture which require that the woman be a Virgin on the wedding night, the egoistic need of the man to be the ONLY ONE in the BRIDES life reduces the choices a divorced woman has to remarry.
Usually, if the second marriage does happen, it happens in the following ways
Love Marriage
Now that the woman is no longer a Virgin and has been stuck with the sigma of a Divorcee, the woman shrugs the restrains of society, the blackmail of the relatives and becomes a bit more open and finds someone who has broken the shackles of Ego and the shackles of a closed society. These marriages are usually successful
Marriage of convenience
The divorcées scum to the taunts and looks of the relatives and acquaintances and accepts the first proposal which comes along, usually this proposal is from a widower who is in need of a Nanny and sexual release.
These proposals are rarely refused and the woman goes along with this marriage to eliminate the ever present taunts and sideways glances and behind that back talk of all the relatives especially the parents.
Reasons for divorce when forced marriages happen
Lack of a dowry
In a number of cases, the brides family has promised more dowry then they can deliver and the grooms family decides that they have been financially cheated and their ego has been bruised. This is a big enough crime that the marriage is called off and the wedding contract is considered null and void, this is a very good reason for not paying the Mehr as well.
No bleeding on the wedding night
More than anything else the girl is required to have an intact hymn on her wedding night[1], in the South Asian society the brides wedding dress is red for this particular reason, she is supposed to bleed and the blood can be absorbed very well on her red dress.
In case this hymn is not present, this would be a completely acceptable reason for the groom to claim that the woman is not a virgin and a perfect reason to divorce the woman.
It does not matter that this hymn can be broken all throughout childhood due to a number of reasons which could be as subtle as ridding the bike, horse back ridding or even an accident.
One of the major issues with bleeding is also that the Groom has to have his Ego stroked that the woman has to be a virgin to be acceptable to him.
Honor / Ego Killings
It is very common that if a bride is suspected of loosing her hymn before her wedding night the father or brother of the bride will get into an Egoistic rage and kill the bride for her infringement of the honor of the family.
Thousands of cases of such honor killings are prevalent in any closed society which show the shallow thing and mistrust of the females in any such society.
Suicide by the bride / girl
In a recent conversation with an extremely intelligent and educated college graduate she mentioned in an off hand remark that she would have no problem with committing suicide in case she was to loose her hymn before her wedding night.
Even after we discussed this comment with her and talking to her that any kind of suicidal tendencies are a clear indication of major ingrained psychological issues she was happy with her decision and would not even think of changing her mind on the issue
Methods of forcing a marriage
The main issue which comes into play in forcing a marriage is the lack of the parent’s ability and training in teaching their children right from wrong.
It is an easy way to go about life. This eliminates the need to treat each and every child as an individual and groom each and every child as such.
The rules are applied as a blanked on everyone and the parents accept this as normal.
Each individual childs uniqueness is squashed and any deviation from the normal is considered rebellion and is treated extremely harshly[2]
Ego of the Parents
Most societies where Forced marriages are practices, we notice that the society is driven more by an EGO then by rational thinking. The Ego of the parents comes into play on every single turn of the Childs life. This ego is so huge that the parents will become blind and will refuse to let the children make any decisions of their own. All their lives the children are put down, degrades and told that they are children and have no clue as to what right from wrong is and thy are supposed to follow every word the elders say without question.
This becomes extremely obvious when the matter of marriage is concerned, more often than not, the parents will not even ask the young person of their decision.
In case the future bride or groom, object to this union, the are told that they are DIS OBEYING their elders and this is taken as rebellion and emotional black mail starts
Emotional Black Mail
This is the most common part of an arranged marriage where the parents, especially the mothers use all avenues of Emotional Blackmail on the children to feed their Egos. In most cases, no attention is paid to the girls feelings or desires, and any opinion voiced by the girl is sunned as the words of a child who does not know anything about life.
The Bride and the Groom have been raised to completely suppress their wishes and desires and accept the word of their parents even though that person has to live with the spouse for the next 40 to 50 years.
Economic Facts
The decision and the arguments which are given a bride to be to get married to a certain guy has nothing to do with natural selection but the following reasons are usually used
Ø He has money and he will make a good provider
Ø He has a good job and will make a good husband
Ø He has a home
Ø He is from a “good” family or the term “biradri” which loosely equates to the same class

The girl might be given a chance to look at her future groom once if the parents are “Progressive” but usually the decision is made on those factors and the life and fate of the girl and in most cases the boy are sealed.
Natural Selection
Anywhere on earth, when we look at any species of animals, we see that the nature has created a system where the Female of the species makes a definite choice between whom she wants to mate. The strongest Male, the male which shows off the most, the Male which shows the promise in providing the best seed to produce the best offspring are the most sought after Males.
In some species if a new male takes over the group he even goes as far as illuminating any off springs from previous males who have lost the leadership of the group.
Human Natural Selection
Exactly in the same way as the animal kingdom, the Human race has also relied on exactly the same method. The female are the ones who have chosen their mates since the time of the Cavemen and even before to receive the seed and produce offspring
In every successful society in the world we see this same practice has been followed.
The methods of courting might be different but the purpose has remained the same.
Miss conceptions
In my conversations with people who live in a society where arranged / forced marriages are acceptable. The arguments range from the ones listed above where facts and figures are observed but not analyzed to the extreme situation such as listed below
Open Sex
The first thing which comes to the mind of a proponent and supporter of arranged marriage is that love marriage means OPEN SEX with anyone and everyone.
They will bring in exceptions and rare issues where boys and girls have acted inappropriately when left and or were alone.
None of these people will take accept the middle ground where there can be a mythology of courting without OPEN SEX.
Eloping
Non Arranged marriages is considered synonymous to Eloping. Where the couple has to go and get married in secret and then face the parents.
The option that the boy meets the girl, they like each other, they talk and are sure that they will make a good couple then they introduce each other to the respective parents and get married with the blessing of both parents is completely forgotten and / or eliminated.
Devastating effects on Society
Psychological Effects
In a recent televised interview with the head of The National Psychological Association on a government sponsored and supported channel the person was stating that over 97% of people in this closed society have major psychological issues.
I was not shocked to hear these figures, this is bound to happen in any society where the normal mental growth of any human is curbed to the extent it is done in a closed society, where even talking to someone of the opposite sex is considered a SEXUAL ACT, where the most primal instincts of a human are curbed psychological issues will be rampant and will surface in every aspect of society.

Extremism
I have discussed suicidal tendencies that are acceptable, condoned and even encouraged in any society.
These feelings are projected by the mother onto their children who grow up with the feelings that killing themselves is acceptable and if it could be acceptable for one reason it would be completely acceptable for a number of other reasons.
With the ground work already done by the family unit and the society as a whole all the extremists have to do is ingrain into the youth that there are a number of other reasons where this kind of behavior would be acceptable.
The society has created those same people who the society shuns in the six o’clock news as mass murderers, suicide bombers etc.
Blame others for everything
Lack of a need to inovate

Economic Impact of the Natural Process

Stagnation of Society

In both these societies we witness that within a couple of generations the desire, the need to excel, improve, to innovate has returned and in so doing the social and economic conditions of one of the poorest and improvised areas of the world has changed and now they are considered the most modern, upcoming and innovate areas of the world.

What does Islam say about Arranged marriages
Examples of Change
There are hundreds of examples of a society, moving from a Arranged Society to a society of natural selection and we see that within a couple of generations that society has done great things.
Chinese Society
In recent history we can take the example of the Chinese society as a very good example, this society had eliminated this Natural Requirement from its society for a few centuries where the women were either sold, bartered or given into “marriage” without their consent. The result was a stagnant society where Opium ruled and the Chinese nation was non existent. Right after the Chinese revolution the society
India Society
A very similar phenomena has occurred in India, especially the southern part of India where the culture has allowed and accepted the need for young men and women to meet and eventually get married.

Japanese Society
The sudden change in Pre and Post second world war Japan
Korean Society
Singaporean Society



[1] In Indonesia, the girls were going to the gynecologists to get their hymn reattached before their wedding to fulfill this requirement by the groom.
[2] Physical abuse, emotional abuse are very common. It is not far fetched to hear stories where the girl was locked in her room for months or years like an animal.
[i] Stockholm syndrome
The four hostages in the Kreditbanken robbery sympathized with their captor (right)The Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response sometimes seen in a hostage, in which the hostage exhibits seeming loyalty to the hostage-taker, in spite of the danger (or at least risk) the hostage has been put in. Stockholm syndrome is also sometimes discussed in reference to other situations with similar tensions,
such as battered woman syndrome, child abuse cases, and bride kidnapping.

Origin of the name
The syndrome is named after the Norrmalmstorg robbery of Kreditbanken at Norrmalmstorg, Stockholm in which the bank robbers held bank employees hostage from August 23 to August 28, 1973. In this case, the victims became emotionally attached to their victimizers, and even defended their captors after they were freed from their six-day ordeal. The term was coined by the criminologist and psychologist Nils Bejerot, who assisted the police during the robbery, and referred to the syndrome in a news broadcast.

Capture bonding
An offshoot of the Stockholm syndrome is the aptly-used term capture-bonding defined as a bond that in some instances develops between captor
and captive. The term is modeled on the Swedish woman who became so attached to one of the bank robbers who held her hostage that she broke her
engagement to her former lover and remained bonded, or in bondage, to her former captor while he served time in prison.

Other uses
Outside of the criminal context, a form of the syndrome may take place in military basic training, in which "training is a mildly traumatic experience intended to produce a bond", with the goal of forming military units which will remain loyal to each other even in life-threatening situations.

Similarly, the effects of the "hazing" system of induction into groups such as fraternities and sororities have been compared to the syndrome. In cultural anthropology a similar symptom is common to bride capture situations.

Loyalty to a more powerful abuser — in spite of the danger that this loyalty puts the victim in — is common among victims of domestic abuse, battered partners and child abuse (dependent children). In many instances the victims choose to remain loyal to their abuser, and choose not to leave him or her, even when they are offered a safe placement in foster homes or safe houses. This syndrome was described by psychoanalysts of the object relations theory school (see Fairbairn) as the phenomenon of psychological identification with the more powerful abuser.

Evolutionary and psychoanalytic explanations
For an interpretation of the syndrome from the perspective of evolutionary psychology, see capture-bonding.

According to the psychoanalytic view of the syndrome, the tendency might well be the result of employing the strategy evolved by newborn babies to form an emotional attachment to the nearest powerful adult in order to maximize the probability that this adult will enable - at the very least - the survival of the child, if not also prove to be a good parental figure.

Taken from WIKIPEDIA